Shao Kahn Kills Randy Pearson
by The Angry American
Summary: Shao Kahn can't wait to see his favorite show of all time, when suddenly, an unfunny pretty boy shows up on the tube. Disappointed and angry, what must Shao Kahn do to solve this problem of his? Character death included because of the title. Includes a bit of universe-jumping.


**"Shao Kahn Kills Randy Pearson"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Mortal Kombat or That 70's Show. Mortal Kombat is owned by Warner Bros. and Netherrealm Studios and That 70's Show is owned by Carsey-Werner Productions.**

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Outworld was such a deadly place. Everywhere you go in this cursed place, there were death traps from everywhere. Impaled spikes, raining fireballs, the stench of dead headless bodies, the vicious presence of Tarkatan soldiers surrounding the entire area, and an angry sneer surrounding the ruler of Outworld inside a skull mask.

The ruler of Outworld had such an evil smile while sitting on his chair. He didn't know if he was dreaming about a dead Liu Kang or marching orders for his soldiers, but he was smiling.

Facing Shao Kahn was a portal full of TV static. For hell-knows-why, he must be urging to watch some entertainment for his amusement. This was absolutely random since Outworld never had a TV in their realm before.

While he was still smiling in his own chair, his queen of a wife approached him.

"King Shao Kahn, may I ask what you're doing?" Sindel replied to her husband.

"I'm watching my new favorite show from puny Earthrealm itself. It's the 70's Show!" Shao Kahn exclaimed. "It's when this guy named Eric has a crush on this red-head, and he hangs down in his basement with his friends. It has a stoner, a bitch, a foreign kid, and some sort of mentally disabled pretty-boy. The father's such a hardass and his mother's nothing more of a goody two-shoes. I also love the fat neighbor in this too."

"You know damn well that we should be giving orders to our soldiers, not spend the entire night watching crap you actually like!" Sindel complained.

"At least I love this crap, my queen!" Shao Kahn shouted, standing his ground. "Now go give my men the orders that they need. The show's about to come on. I bet this is the episode that Eric returns from Africa and finally marries Donna."

"I have no idea why I asked in the first place..." Sindel muttered behind the king's back, leaving the throne room once and for all.

Shao Kahn rubbed his hands in anticipation. He couldn't wait to see the return of his favorite TV character known as Eric Forman. Oh, how he waited for this waking moment. Staring at the portal wide open, he waited for Eric to come out to that door.

But to his utter surprise...

...

...

...

...an unknown character with a badly drawn Andy Gibb haircut walked in instead. With a smile in his face, he greeted the rest of Eric's family and friends, who were upset that ta widespread blackout covered the whole entire city of Point Place.

"_Hey, everybody!_" Randy exclaimed, "_I got tickets to see Journey! Which lucky friend gets the chance to go?_"

Then, out of nowhere, a laugh track came out prematurely as if it was funny. The truth is, he wasn't funny at all.

And so was the reaction from Shao Kahn's face. His jaw dropped like a falling rock. He felt disappointed that the character who replaced Eric wasn't funny at all. Besides, it was only one line that he said.

In response, Shao Kahn's disappointment turned to anger.

"Wha... WHAT IN HOLY HELL IS THIS MOCKERY!?" Shao Kahn screamed, "WHO IS THIS DILLHOLE? THIS ISN'T ERIC FORMAN! THIS IS JUST A SCRUB!"

To control his anger, Shao Kahn gripped his hammer tightly and smashed the floor in frustration.

"HOW DARE THEY PLAY ME LIKE THIS!" Shao Kahn screamed again. "THIS LITTLE MONKEY-FUCKER THEY SENT OUT IS A DISGRACE! SOMEBODY'S GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THIS!"

But then, an idea had suddenly came to mind. If he was so angry about this problem, why doesn't he solve it himself by going to their little TV world? After all, he was the emperor and he could travel to anywhere make-believe, besides Earthrealm itself.

"And I think I got a idea!" Shao Kahn laughed evilly.

With his hammer in hand, another portal had opened, leading to the universe of That 70's Show. He took another hard grip of his hammer and carefully entered the dimension with such deadly vengeance in mind

_**In 'That 70's Show' world, a.k.a. Point Place, Wisconsin...**_

Randy was still annoying the hell out of everybody. Hyde crossed his arms tightly while Kitty's head slumped on Red's shoulder. Jackie on the other hand, nearly passed out from exhaustion while Fez was trying to dodge Randy's pleading by covering her ears.

Red was getting the worst of the mess however. Randy kept irritating him to no end.

"C'Mon, Mr. Forman. You gotta leave your home and have fun once in a while!" Randy happily spoke.

"I rather stay home and watch "Rocky" than go to that stupid hippy band that you like so much!" Red insulted him. "I hate this stupid blackout, Kitty!"

"I know how you feel, Red..." Kitty sighed in despair.

"I'd go to my place, but unfortunately, the power's out too." Jackie sighed as well.

"This sucks, Mr. Red..." Fez whined. "I wanted to dry out my hair since it's still wet. I want it to be pretty like a little hot mama..."

Randy still wouldn't quit annoying them. All of his yammering was getting on everybody's nerves.

"There's no need to get down!" Randy crazily exclaimed, "I got tickets for Journey! You all should be happy I got 'em! Now let me say it nice and clear: 'WHO WANTS TO GO WITH ME TO SEE JOURNEY?"

"I wish he was dead..." Fez muttered silently.

But then, in a moment's flash...

...a portal opened up in the Forman's living room. The rift was so big and so roaring, that both Red, Kitty, Hyde, Jackie, Fez and Donna hung on to the couch cushions, hoping that they wouldn't get sucked up by that unholy wormhole. Randy on the other hand, still stood like the useless little lump that he was.

Out of the portal came Shao Kahn with his infamous war-hammer in hand. In Red's eyes, he looked more like a gladiator almost dressed to look like a 'Mad Max' extra. In Jackie, Kitty and Donna's eyes, he was viewed as a total sex symbol with that muscular physique, deadly eyes and those bulging muscles that make him look a little hunky. Fez noticed this looked in Jackie and felt a bit jealous. Hyde didn't care about this situation at all. He just wanted to go to sleep.

But what did Randy think when he first got a look at Shao Kahn. As Randy would tell you himself...

...he was shitting in his pants with fear itself.

"W-w-who are you?" Randy stuttered, nearly at the sight of the towering Shao Kahn.

In response to Randy's question, Shao Kahn grabbed him by his puny neck. With an angry sneer, Shao Kahn spoke up to Randy's face and gave him a few words of his own...

"I'll tell you who I am..." Shao Kahn paused a bit. "You're my bitch!"

With his grip choking the life out of the scared-as-shit pretty boy, Shao Kahn threw Randy up in the air in complete circles.

As Randy was still being thrown in the air, Shao Kahn took a violent grip of his hammer, clenching it to get that sudden force of energy merged into it. And when Randy was about to ascend to the ground...

_***WHOOOOOOMP!***_

The hammer swung and severed Randy's limbs with one smash, decapitating his entire body one limb at a time. The sound was so explosive that even Bob nearly heard it coming from his house. He must've believed that it was a firecracker somebody blew in the street.

The rest of the guests inside the Forman's house didn't scream at all during Randy's violent death scene. They managed to cover themselves with blankets to avoid Randy's blood being splurted all over themselves. Good thing the blanket came in handy!

With Shao Kahn's job done in a matter of time, he picked up the severed head of Randy as if he was holding a trophy.

"You will never hurt my favorite show again, you got that!?" Shao Kahn yelled at the head.

Randy couldn't respond or nod, since he was already dead as a doornail, and that his body parts were scattered all across the Forman living room.

The portal had opened up again. This time, Shao Kahn was on his way out of here to his home in Outworld. But as a special treat, he decided to take Randy's head home with him as a little memento.

As soon as Shao Kahn had left the world of "That 70's Show" via his wormhole, the rest of the guests popped out of the blanket that shielded them from Randy's blood. I guess Fez's dream had suddenly came true in the most random way.

"What the hell was that dumbass talking about?" Red replied, trying to figure out what was going on.

"I'm not sure if I know, Mr. Forman..." Hyde responded. "But at least that shut Randy up."

"Yeah, it did." Jackie said in amazement. "Did you see how hot that guy was with that helmet on? He looks so hunky."

"I know, right?" Donna said, squealing with joy. "He looked more muscular than Eric!"

Fez still felt a little squeamish about Randy's blood pouring everywhere in the room.

"Hey, um..." Fez muttered. "Should we clean this mess up?"

"Ah, we'll let Eric clean it up when he gets back from Africa." Red muttered back, holding up a newspaper in hands.

And then, as if with the power of magic, the lights finally came back on, much to the delight of Red, Kitty, Jackie, Fez, Hyde and Donna.

"Well, what'dya know? The power's back on!" Red chuckled.

"Finally, now I can check on those winning lottery numbers!" Kitty said, squealing with excitement.

But as soon as the TV came on, it cut back to a breaking news segment.

_"Hi, I'm Elliot Cosell with some breaking news."_ The correspondent said. _"A Journey concert turned to anarchy as thousands of fans rioted inside the Point Place Convention Center. A fire broke out when Steve Perry's ashtray suddenly caught fire from the curtains, mainly from somebody's inflammable bong water. Luckily, everyone managed to get out without injuries. The recipient that started the fire was shirtless and was covered in red spraypaint that had the words 'I'm a human penis' attached to it. More on this story at 11."_

"I'm so glad I wasn't there to see that! Those dumbasses!" Red chuckled, not worrying what happened to Randy at all. And so did the rest of the people to be exact.

Basically, life was much more happier without the dead sucker to begin with.

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**I know this probably isn't my best fic, but at least a dead Randy will make up for it. I hate that character to death and I'm glad I wrote it on my expense. Just so you did know, Randy caused this show to cancel because of his lack of hilarity. Basically, this show was much better when both Eric and Kelso was on it. Sorry if Michael Kelso didn't make an appearance as well.**

**Anyway, you know what to do. C-Ya. (;D)**


End file.
